We’re getting into the nitty gritty of our planning now (which seems ridiculous as we still have aaaages to go!) and it feels like all decision are big decisions. The one that is causing the most aggro? Plus ones.
We’re at that tricky stage in our lives where some of our friends are married or settling down and having kids, and others are travelling round the world, living for the weekend and, quite rightly, focusing on the right now rather than the right partner. As a result, we have a selection of plus ones who we have known for years, some we have never met and some who we’re not too sure are going to still be around for the next few months, let alone the next few years. So how do you decide who to have and where to draw the line?! The long-distance boyfriend? The husband of your lovely work colleague? The questionable new girlfriend of your weird uncle?
I find the idea that everyone should automatically be granted a plus one pretty ridiculous. How many other times in your life would you pay for a stranger to witness one of the most important events of your life, ply them with food and drink and then dance awkwardly with them at the end of the night. You wouldn’t, and I think it is only fair that guests don’t ever assume they are going to have one unless both people have a close relationship with the bride and groom. Personally I have felt pretty awkward when I have been invited as a plus one to wedding where I have barely known the couple and probably would have felt more comfortable not going.
But this doesn’t seem to be the universal opinion. I’m trying to work out how to diplomatically inform some of our guests that they’ll be flying solo – I genuinely believe they’ll have a better time than if they are going to have to babysit a partner who doesn’t know everyone anyways – but it’s such a grey area that it is becoming more and more tricky. There doesn’t seem to be a clear cut-off point and I’m not sure what the official plus one etiquette is.